The Truth About ADHD: Why the Name Gets It Wrong and What You Need to Know

When most people hear ADHD, they picture a wiggly kid who can’t sit still, blurts out answers, or zones out in class. But here’s the thing: that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

In our very first episode of Raising ADHD, we’re pulling back the curtain on what ADHD really is, and what it isn’t. 

Spoiler: it’s not just about attention or hyperactivity. ADHD is actually an executive function disorder that impacts emotional regulation, time management, working memory, sleep, and so much more.

As a former teacher and ADHD mom (Apryl) and a child & adolescent psychiatrist who also lives with ADHD (Brian), we’re here to bust through the misconceptions, share what’s really going on under the surface, and give you tools you can use right away at home and in the classroom.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• 🎯 Why the name ADHD is misleading, and what it should really be called
• 🧊 The ADHD “iceberg”: what’s visible vs. the hidden challenges most people miss
• 💥 How emotional dysregulation, low frustration tolerance, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria show up in everyday life
• ⏰ Why time blindness and working memory struggles impact everything from homework to home routines
• 🛑 The heartbreaking link between ADHD, self-esteem, school struggles, and long-term outcomes (like dropout rates and anxiety)
• 👩‍🏫 Why teachers often feel underprepared—and what parents and educators need to know about supporting ADHD kids in the classroom

Why this matters:

ADHD is one of the most misunderstood childhood diagnoses—yet it affects nearly 1 in 9 kids. Left untreated or misinterpreted, it doesn’t just make school harder; it impacts friendships, family dynamics, and even long-term mental health. But with the right understanding and support, ADHD kids can thrive.

Resources + Next Steps:

• Subscribe to Raising ADHD so you don’t miss next week’s episode on the ADHD diagnosis process: what it looks like, what to expect, and how to talk to your doctor.
• Share this episode with another parent or teacher who needs to hear the real truth about ADHD.

Transcript

Speaker 1 

Really, ADHD is an executive function disorder. Think of it like an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg is what you see, right? So the fidgeting, the zoning out, the blurting out the hyperactivity, that's just the surface. That's what we see. And that's what the name really. Portrays what it is, but there's pull iceberg under the water, right? And there's a whole list of things that most people never realize are. Part of ADHD. Welcome to raising ADHD. Podcasts for parents and teachers raising ADHD kids. If you've ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, or just unsure what to do next, you're not alone. I'm April Bradford, a former teacher and ADHD mom, and alongside my husband, Doctor Brian Bradford, a child and adolescent psychiatry. We're here to give you the clarity, strategies and support you've been looking for. Every week we breakdown the misconceptions, answer your biggest questions and share real tools you can use right away at home and in the classroom. So if you're ready to feel more confident and less overwhelmed, you're in the right place. Hey there, welcome to raising ADHD podcast real talk for raising kids with ADHD. We're so excited you're here and we're excited to finally share this with the world. And April Bradford, I'm a former teacher wife and mom to an ADHD family. Sometimes I even joked that the dog has ADHD too. And with me is my husband and Co host doctor Brian Bradford. 

Speaker 2 

Hi, I'm Doctor Brad Bradford. I am a child adolescent psychiatrist. And yes, I also have ADHD. So really I'm living it right alongside my patients and our family. 

Speaker 1 

Today, in our very first episode, we're talking about the truth behind ADHD, what it isn't. And what it actually is, because the name ADHD. Honestly it does, kids and adults a huge disservice. Let's dive into why the name Mrs. the. 

Speaker 2 

You know when people hear attention deficit hyperactivity or they think ohh this cat this kid can't pay attention. They're way too hyper and that's kind of like the end of the story. That's the end of what people are are picturing this the ADHD is so much more than that and it's one of the most misunderstood diagnosis out. 

Speaker 1 

There, the label itself makes it sound like. Our kids are broken, right? Like there's just two big issues that our attention and hyperactivity, but really. ADHD is an executive function disorder and in his book Russell Barkley actually says that he wishes the name was executive function disorder instead of ADHD. So think of it like an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg is what you see the fidgeting. The zoning out the blurting out the hyperactivity, that's just the surface. That's what we see and that's. What the name really portrays what it is, but there. Is. The whole iceberg under the water, and there's a whole list of things that most people never realize they're part of ADHD. 

Speaker 2 

And here's the thing. It's not actually a deficit of attention. ADHD kids can focus better than anyone as long as as something they love, they can hyper focus, they can do the art, they can do the video games. You see these kids that could just completely zone in and oftentimes those are ADHD kids with a complete lack of inattention. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah, exactly. Our daughter can sit and draw for hours when she's in her zone. She loves art. And that's, you know, she she can totally focus on that for a really long time. It's not that she can't pay attention. It's that her attention has its own rules. So let's talk now. We talked. How? It's a disservice, right. Let's actually talk what's underneath the service so. Brian, why don't you tell us what's under the iceberg? Because before you went to Med school? Even you having and growing up with ADHD, even you didn't realize how much was underneath it, right? 

Speaker 2 

Right. I mean, I was always taught, OK, you're you have poor attention and you have hyperactivity and that's kind of it. And then anything beyond that I viewed as just my own personal personality, basically. Well, turns out many of the things that I was experiencing everybody or or it's very classic ADHD signs. Some of these can be like emotional dysregulation. Where something can trigger. Motions that. Shouldn't be. 

Speaker 1 

But like the after school meltdowns, right? 

Speaker 2 

After school meltdowns, for sure low frustration tolerance, some of these things that when they do they they should be very minimal things and it'll completely shut you down. 

Speaker 1 

So. Kids in school, when there's something that all the other kids can do, this one gets frustrated and shuts down when you're like. You should be just fine. 

Speaker 2 

Right. And now you've got the kid crying in the corner and you're like, with with drug, with him, social challenges, this can be interrupting. This could be oversharing. This is the kid that's raising his hand 30 times and. 

Speaker 1 

Uh or not, raising his hand. 

Speaker 2 

We're not raising his hand. This is where you get the cat stories in the middle of the math lesson. 

Speaker 

MHM. 

Speaker 2 

Delay aversion. This could be a big one. We've all heard about the the whole marshmallow game where if you give a kid a marshmallow and if. 

Speaker 

Oh yeah. 

Speaker 2 

He. Can wait so long. Then he gets the second marshmallow and you see that that would be terrible to. To try and delay to get that second marshmallow time blindness can be another big one. You see this especially in adults, but this can happen in kids too, where it's been 5 minutes or it's been an hour and you have no idea how long it's been. This is where the kids can sit and play video games and. Pretty soon it's been four or five hours and you're like, what's been going on all day sleep issues and we'll dive into this more on some future episodes, but sleep issues can. Be a big problem with ADHD. There's a delayed sleep initiation. Basically your circadian rhythm and working memory deficits. This is this is one that you're gonna commonly see in the classroom. You're given too many assignments or the the assignment to me. Yeah. Too many instructions. And it's just too much to handle all at once. And then pretty soon. 

Speaker 1 

Instructions you mean? 

Speaker 2 

Instead of three or four things being given to you, it's almost as if none processing speed could be over the place where you'll. You'll see kids that almost look like a savant, like they're answering things instantly, and it's just like, man, how did how did you get the answer so quickly? And then likewise the opposite, where it's it's completely stuck and it's like. Why? Why can you not come up with this answer? This is pretty basic. And then another big one that's that's been more common recently talked about is the rejection sensitivity dysphoria and. Just being unable to handle rejection in general. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah. And I think one of the biggest things. 2 is the self esteem piece because these ADHD kids hear so much negativity. Constantly they hear this more when they get older. Oh, you're lazy. You don't care. You're not trying, you know, but just all the little like redirects constantly. And why can't you do this? And you know all those things? And I know. We've had. 

Speaker 2 

Right. 

Speaker 1 

Times with our daughter. And I've read this on parent Facebook groups too, where, you know, kids get really upset and it's like, I mean they're they're young like. 678 years old and it's like, oh, I hate myself, you know? And so you're already at that young of age seeing the effects of the self esteem. And so then by high school they've heard so much negative that they believe that their failures. 

Speaker 2 

Right. This is one of those that keeps adding up overtime where I'm now being kind of the social outcast because I'm interrupting people and people that want to talk to me and this keeps compounding until. They're in high school. 

Speaker 1 

So another interesting thing is, you know, there's so much obviously misconception about ADHD that it's. It's interesting now you know with you in the field and you working with. Up and coming, doctors, residents right and medical students. How much miss understanding there is, even in the medical field. 

Speaker 2 

Right. Yeah, this happens all the time and especially seeing like the new residents that come up and they're showing me and they're saying, well, the kids sat down for 15 minutes. And I mean, we had a straight up conversation. Why? Why are you thinking 80 HD? And it's, meanwhile, the kid came in yesterday, had a meltdown at school, and it's like, well, well, this should put ADHD right at the top of your differential. Like you, we need to do an assessment at this point. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah, that's interesting, because the meltdown I wouldn't initially think ADHD. 

Speaker 2 

Will you hit this meltdown? It's like, well, well, what could be causing this? Anxiety could be causing meltdown. Depression could be causing meltdown. Well, what about rejection? Sensitivity dysphoria. This this could be a symptom of ADHD. Have if we even entertain the idea, or are we going to miss it as well? 

Speaker 1 

OK, so that reminds me too. I have a question for you. Is. Because as you're mentioning, there's so many different parts to this and the way that kids display it, would ADHD be considered a spectrum? Disorder. 

Speaker 2 

I mean it, it sits right next to an autism spectrum disorder in the DSM and it's a neurodevelopmental disorder. Being said it it has so many symptoms that I wouldn't be surprised if this kind of comes off in the future as a spectrum disorder. It's already divided into a combined type. Hyperactive type and inattentive type. And so two people could have completely different types of ADHD. Both have ADHD and I have a single symptom in common. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah, I could. I could see that. You know, I'm in. A. Lot of ADHD parenting groups and there is so many, you know, like there's the anger and the anxiety and and also so many comorbidities that go along with ADHD which will definitely do an episode. About. As well, but it reminds me though. A training that I had I. Had. In the classroom, we're going to get to the classroom in just a minute, too, but I didn't have any training on ADHD. As a teacher, we had one class like. I can't even remember what it was. Called. But it was like all the, you know, encompass every child that would be different in your classroom. And then we had one training at district training about autism and the trainer. And that said that when you've seen one kid with autism, you've seen one kid because it can show up so differently. And I feel like ADHD. And kind of be that way as well. 

Speaker 2 

Right. For sure, every ADHD looks completely different. It can be difficult in the classroom, in completely different ways. So in some ways you almost have to teach each individual teacher of what this looks like in this child. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah. And for sure, that's. That's part of the reason, like my, why behind this podcast is because I felt so under trained in the classroom. You know, like I said, I had zero training, 1 college class. And what's sad about that is that ADHD is not rare. The last the most updated statistic from the CDC is 11% like 11.4 or something like that of kids have ADHD. So when you know we have a classroom of 25, we have at least 2. Kids. Statistically, in our class with ADHD and. There's no training for it. 

Speaker 2 

Right. One and nine and we're not training about this. This is almost bizarre. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah, it's really, really sad. 

Speaker 2 

It's also probably the most common mental health disorder that you're gonna see in a classroom in any given elementary school class. 

Speaker 1 

True. Yeah. And like I said, no training and something that I wish I would have known. As a teacher, was that these kids are. Developmentally. Two year like emotionally right, two years behind their peers like executive function, wise and emotionally so like I was a third grade teacher for a lot of my. Career. And so you know that beginning your third grader, they should be have the expectations of a beginning. Your first grader for that kiddo. 

Speaker 2 

Right. Well, that kind of part comes along with the emotional dysregulation as well where it's, uh. Unable to handle the same level of stress or the same level of emotional disruption is appears there. Age. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah. And I think that's where, you know, going back to the low self esteem and stuff, that's where you know, we label them as immature or lazy, but literally they're not trying to be immature or lazy. It's just where they are. I just thought, you know, these kids didn't even realize or didn't care. Like, when their desk was literally falling on the floor, the stuff out of it. But really they they had no idea how to organize or manage all their stuff because they were, you know, behind and didn't have these executive functioning skills because of the ADHD. 

Speaker 2 

Right. And the heartbreaking part about this whole thing is they can put in the same effort or even more effort as their peers, and they still end up with less to show for it. 

Speaker 1 

Here's why this matters is ADHD doesn't just make school harder, untreated or misunderstood ADHD impacts. Not just childhood, but life in really big. 

Speaker 2 

Ways kids with ADHD are twice as likely to drop out of high school. The the high school dropout rate for a child with ADHD is 32%. That's almost 1 and 3. The divorce rate is higher and the divorce rate of the parents are double. If you have an ADHD child, your odds of getting divorced by the time the child is 8 is double, and there's also the ADHD tax. They spend up to $1600 a year on average is being spent on things due to late fees and bills and. Interest loans and things that affect ADHD people more than others. 

Speaker 1 

That's huge. And then? On top of that, like we you know, mentioned a little bit earlier, there's like the comorbidities that go with it, like anxiety and depression. So many of the kids with ADHD are also struggling with one of those. Because of, you know, they're trying to hold it all together. 

Speaker 2 

Right. I mean statistically by the time you have graduated high school, if you have an ADHD diagnosis, there's a 50% chance you also made the criteria for generalized anxiety disorder. Wow. 

Speaker 1 

That's a lot. That's a lot for a kid to carry. 

Speaker 2 

Right. And the message they keep hearing is just try harder. Well, all that does is increase your risk of anxiety. It's not, it's not improving function at all. The truth is, it's not about trying harder, it's about working. 

Speaker 1 

Yes, and one thing. To note is that it's not a flaw. These kids are just wired differently, right? And it's not bad parenting, even though you know it'll be like I wanna get control of your kid. No, it's not bad parenting. These kids are just prior, different. And once you understand that, you can finally start to, you know, implement tips and. The different things that work for your kid, just like we said, the symptoms will look different and what works for your kid might not work for another kid. There's so many ways that we can help. Our kiddos thrive once we know these things, so next time someone says to you, ADHD is just. Attention and hyperactivity. Remember the iceberg picture? All of that stuff that's underneath. There's a whole world underneath and then. 

Speaker 2 

And that's what this podcast is all about. We're trying to breakdown misconceptions, and we're going to share real strategies to actually help people. Exactly. 

Speaker 1 

Exactly next week, we're talking about a big one that I think a lot of people will be interested in. It's about the diagnosis process. What it looks like, what forms you'll see and how to bring this up to your doctor and talk to your doctor. About it would. 

Speaker 2 

I think this will be a good one. Thanks so much for joining us for today's conversation on raising ADHD. Remember raising ADHD kids doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Small shifts can make a big difference. If you found this episode helpful, it would mean the world. If you would hit subscribe, if you would leave a review or if you shared it with another parent or teacher who needs this support. And don't forget to join us next week for more real talk, practical tips and encouragement. Until then, you've got this and we've got your back.