Raising ADHD: Real Talk For Parents & Educators

[Part 2 of 5] Stop the Holiday Meltdowns: The 10-Minute Holiday Reset Every ADHD Family Needs (But No One Told You About)

• Dr. Brian Bradford & Apryl Bradford • Season 1 • Episode 14

Share episode

If “holiday magic” currently looks more like meltdowns over socks, cold coffee, and pure morning chaos, you’re not doing anything wrong, you’re living inside the ADHD Holiday Paradox.

In today’s episode, we're revealing the fastest way to bring calm back into your home, a simple, science-backed 10-Minute Holiday Reset that lowers emotional reactivity, rebuilds structure, and gives your family the breathing room you desperately need right now.

And teachers, you’re part of this too. Stick around for the quick classroom-calming notes near the end.

🎧 IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

🔥 Why ADHD brains unravel faster during the holidays
Their sensory systems take in everything, all at once.

🔥 The “anchor activity” that instantly calms an ADHD household
And why it works from home, hotels, grandma’s house… anywhere.

🔥 How 10 minutes can reset the entire day
The prefrontal-cortex science behind why this simple rhythm works.

🔥 What sensory + emotional shielding looks like in real life
Including why meltdowns aren’t defiance — they’re survival.

🔥 Why it’s okay to say no to “perfect holiday traditions”
And how boundary scripts protect everyone’s energy.

🔥 A quick teacher tip to survive the pre-break chaos
(Because the whole classroom feels ADHD-ish right now.)

✨ COMING NEXT WEEK

We’re busting the 3 biggest ADHD holiday myths that keep families stuck in guilt, chaos, and emotional noise.

Hit FOLLOW now so the episode lands straight in your app.

📩 HAVE A QUESTION FOR US?

We’d love to hear from you!
 DM us on Instagram at @raisingadhd_org — your question might be featured in a future episode.
Or you might even join us as a guest.

And if this episode gave you even one “oh my gosh, that’s us” moment…
 the best Christmas gift you can give us is a quick rating + review.

🎨 HOLIDAY TIP: WANT A CALMER TABLE THIS YEAR?

Before we dive in, Apryl shares one of her favorite holiday sanity-savers:

👉 Creative Crayons Workshop coloring tablecloths
Kids stay busy. You get a few quiet minutes. Everyone wins.

You can grab 20% off your order here:
https://creativecrayonsworkshop.com/color

Use code: COLOR

They even personalize them for birthdays and holiday themes — truly a magical reset tool.

Apryl:

Picture this. It's 8 03 a.m. The kitchen's a disaster, someone's crying over socks, and your coffee's gone cold. Yet again, it's the holidays, and instead of magic, it feels like chaos. Now, imagine this. The same morning, but calm. The kids actually eat breakfast, no one's yelling, you have 10 quiet minutes to breathe before your day begins. That's what we're doing today, showing you how to build that version of your day no matter how chaotic your house feels right now. Welcome to Raising ADHD, the podcast for parents and teachers raising ADHD kids. If you've ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, or just unsure what to do next, you're not alone. I'm April Bradford, a former teacher and ADHD mom, and alongside my husband, Dr. Brian Bradford, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, we're here to give you the clarity, strategies, and support you've been looking for. Every week we break down the misconceptions, answer your biggest questions, and share real tools you can use right away at home and in the classroom. So if you're ready to feel more confident and less overwhelmed, you're in the right place. Hey guys, welcome back to Raising ADHD. Hey Brian.

Brian:

Hey April.

Apryl:

Okay, so if you listened to last week's episode, this is a follow-up to last week's episode. So go listen to that. Last week we were talking all about um why the holidays are secretly harder for ADHD families. And so this week we are actually going to show you the 10-minute holiday reset routine. And these are this is very simple. It's nothing that's going to take a lot of time, but it can bring back the control and the calm in your household. Before we start though, I have something really exciting to share with you guys. I have partnered with the Creative Crayons Workshop. So if you want a calm holiday table this holiday, whether it's Thanksgiving or Christmas, or you just need something for your kiddos to do quietly for a few minutes, this is for you. So what Creative Crayons is, is it's coloring tablecloths. So um literally, it's like a tablecloth that you can cover color on. We had these last Christmas. I don't know if you remember that, Brian.

Brian:

Yeah, super fun.

Apryl:

Yeah, super fun. The whole family enjoyed them. Like literally, I mean, we've talked about this. We have a 20-year-old, we have Brian and I, obviously, our eight-year-old, grandma came, everyone enjoyed coloring together. And so um, I have a deal for you 20% off Creative Crayons Workshop.com slash color or use the um discount code color at checkout and you can save 20% on your order. Also, they do birthday parties and they will customize it with your kids' name and all that fun stuff too. So creative crayons workshop.com slash color or just use the word color at um checkout, and you can get 20% off. Okay, let's dive in, Brian. Um, so like I was saying, last week we talked about why the holidays are secretly harder for ADHD families. And just a quick summary is the structure disappears, demands skyrocket, and suddenly everyone's having meltdowns.

Brian:

Right. And the ADHD brand brain runs best when you have this external scaffolding that we talked about like last week. Mm-hmm. And this includes things like clear routines, uh, predictable, everything being predictable, predictable environments, things like this, and built-in accountability. And when that scaffolding goes away, chaos ensues, mayhem, everything.

Apryl:

Yeah. So our kids, you know, are off school or we're at an aunt's house that we never go to, something, all of that structure falls apart. Aunt Linda.

Brian:

Oh, Linda. Oh, yeah, Linda.

Apryl:

Linda's coming back up today. Linda's coming back. Okay, so that's why we call this a reset routine because you're not actually fixing behavior. We are just going to rebuild the scaffolding that holds everything together.

Brian:

Yeah, even like a 10-minute rhythm can calm the prefrontal cortex, which is that brain's like executive functioning center.

Apryl:

Like the CEO of the brain.

Brian:

CEO. We'll call it the CEO. And this will reduce emotional reactivity. It's 10 minutes.

Apryl:

Yep. So basically, this is science-backed calm. And like I said, it's going to be super easy and simple. There are three simple categories that will get this calm very fast. We're going to talk about structure, sensory, and boundaries. So let's start with structure because, like we talked about, without it, everything collapses.

Brian:

So with structure, think about this as the anchor in your day. ADHD brains need this predictable anchor points, or else everything's going to be novel and everything's going to be a distraction. So you need things that happen at the same time every day, no matter what.

Apryl:

Yeah. So, you know, before your kids got out of school for the holidays, it was like, okay, every day we wake up and we have breakfast, or um, every day we wake up and we get dressed first. Whatever it is, there there was that like anchor point, right? And so that is true for when you're off on the holidays. Have something be an anchor point that your kids can just know and look forward to. Like they just, it's that like first click in the brain of, oh, this is regular, this is normal. So, you know, breakfast is the one for us. It's like, okay, get up, eat breakfast, and it doesn't matter if it's Christmas Eve or total chaos, we're gonna do that. We're gonna wake up and have breakfast. And it can be, you know, just like a quick breakfast. This could be, you know, maybe your family goes on a walk every day, or maybe they walk to school. Maybe you walk to school or ride your bike to school. Do that same thing. Okay, we're just gonna go on a quick 10-minute walk. We're gonna go on a quick 10-minute bike ride because that is keeping everyone regulated and in a routine. Even if it's different than normal, it's still like, oh, I know that we're gonna wake up and have breakfast. I know that we're gonna wake up and go on our bike ride, whatever it is.

Brian:

Right. And even so with holidays, when you're out of out of the house, things like this, you can have like a, oh, when we wake up in the morning, I go say hi, and then we go brush our teeth together. Or just something to like keep the keep the structure going.

Apryl:

Mm-hmm.

Brian:

Just to like bring that freshness so it's not oof, I'm waking up in a hotel room and everything's new.

Apryl:

Yeah. Or I'm just gonna go play with cousins or do whatever it is, like just have that one thing. Again, like it can be 10 minutes or less that it's just like this. Okay, it's like literally setting the brain up, and it's like a signal for the brain saying, we're safe, we're consistent. We've talked about scaffolding. Like, think about literally building scaffolding, like you're starting that base layer of scaffolding that's going to set your day better. And another thing, too, is if mornings are hard, you know, because you're still working, you're still doing this stuff, if mornings are hard for you, you can you can still do it at bedtime. Like you can do a night routine. So for us, a very consistent night routine is that we get in bed, I read to our daughter for 10 minutes, and then it's lights out. And so we can continue that through the holidays, whether our mornings are different or not. Like the nighttime is the same. So still there's still some scaffolding there and some structure there as well.

Brian:

I love the nighttime ones because like the reading is conditioning to help fall asleep as well. This says, Hey, guess what? You're back in your safe zone, it's time to go to bed. We're consistent.

Apryl:

Yeah, it's true. And that that can happen anywhere we're at.

Brian:

Right. And it's it's safety, it's consistency, and it's predictability. And it's not performance. If it's you know what, we gotta our let's say yours is walking and it's you're on vacation, it's like I'm gonna walk, but it's gonna be like two minutes and it's gonna be down to the lobby and back because that's that's what I have. You're just doing that consistency.

Apryl:

Yeah, you're not trying to, you know, I'm training to the marathon here today. No, like we're literally just getting a few steps in because that's what we're used to and it's normal. So yes, definitely it does not have to be perfect, just trying to keep it consistent. And even if you miss a day, okay, you know it again, it does not have to be perfect. Um, so that's the structure. Now let's talk about the sensory and emotional shielding. The structure's the backbone of all of this, but we know we we talked about last week too, the meltdowns, the meltdowns that come out of nowhere.

Brian:

Right. Well, so this is the sensory overload, and we we talked about this last week again. The holidays are so much novelty and so much noise and new things, and it it is, it is sensory, sensory overload. And the ADHD brain, I mean, is like, you know, the like the squirrel thing, it takes in every single sound, every light, every smell, everything all at once, and then trying to interpret that, that's where we get the impaired sensory gating.

Apryl:

Yeah, that's what it's called is impaired sensory gating, which basically means their brain doesn't have an off switch, like to be like, okay, quit taking in all of those sight, sound smells things, there's just no switch for it.

Brian:

Right. So one of the quick wins we can do is just scheduling downtime before it's needed. So if you've got this family party coming up and let's do a quick break first. We got 15 minutes in the car or a walk outside, or you get the noise canceling headphones in a spare room and you just get regulate yourself before you experience the stress.

Apryl:

Yeah, I love this idea because you know, like I'm just thinking, we live away from family now, so we don't have all the family holiday parties and all that stuff that can be very overstimulating as much now. Um, but I love that idea of just, okay, we're going to grandma's. Every cousin, every aunt, every uncle, everyone's gonna be there, and it's gonna be chaos. So before we go, let's all take that first ther or that 30 minutes before it's time to leave, instead of get out the door, let's go, grab your coat, get your shoes, do you have this? That's just gonna make it even more chaotic, just having like a calm few minutes before, 15 minutes before everyone leaves the house. We're just gonna you go to your room, I'll go to my room, we're all gonna just have a quiet time, and then we can get in the car and we're calm and ready to go.

Brian:

Yep. Yeah. And the ride to grandma's house, don't play heavy metal, just put on like whatever your little speakers, like music, Christmas music.

Apryl:

Love Kenny G holiday music. It is so calming. The like saxophone. Try that one. That's a good one.

Brian:

You know, I was thinking about this. That sensory overload, when when people have like a bright light or you're outside in the sun and you want to put on your sunglasses, that's ADHD, what that sensory overload feels like. It's just like, give me the sunglasses or the I want the noise-cancelling headphones or whatever, just to block this out. It's it's killing me. I hate it.

Apryl:

Yeah, and you make a really good point. That's like having like a sensory toolbox and things that you know that your kid needs. Like for our daughter, sunglasses at a party, she probably wouldn't need them, but she knows like when things are too much, and it's like, okay, maybe going into a different room, a quiet room, or whatever, some kids do thrive off of things like sunglasses and some noise-cancelling headphones, or like a fidget tool. If you know Aunt Linda's expecting your kid to sit at the table, fidget tool might be a little nice. And with that, too, just remember that when your kiddo has that meltdown, or is you can see them starting to shut down at one of these holiday events, that's survival for them. That's literally their brain saying, This is too much.

Brian:

You know, one more thing on on like uh the family dinners and things like this. Sugar and ADHD don't play very well together. If you can have protein treats for the ride over, if it's like, hey, we're gonna pass out the beef jerky, although there's a ton of sugar, beef jerky. Let's pass out the you know, peanuts, whatever, the whatever it is. That's something a little the string cheese. Just something with a little protein rather than hey, I'm hungry. Oh, here's the here's the gummy bears. That'll help also.

Apryl:

Yeah. Or like, if your kid's gonna have cookies, have cookies with milk. Because the milk is that protein. So, you know, the sugar spikes with ADHD, that's a super good point, is like just making sure we get a little protein in on these holiday days, because sometimes that is hard as well. Okay, so number three, we've talked about structure and sensory, and now let's talk about boundaries because nothing drains an ADHD family faster than holiday overload. So boundaries are so important.

Brian:

Right. So boundaries are how we actually protect our energy. So you can say no to extra events or to the perfect traditions, like perfect.

Apryl:

Yes, he's like, quotes, perfect traditions.

Brian:

Man, that was another good uh a good thing from the ADHD conference. We were talking traditions there, and somebody's like, you know, we do Jewish holidays, and these like hour and hour and hour long meals.

Apryl:

It was no, they're like three-hour meals. I can't remember what it's called. Yeah, it's it's a three-hour meal. I don't know. No, Passover's. Oh yeah, it was Passover, yes, because it wasn't like at it wasn't like Hanukkah or anything. It was Passover. Three-hour meal at Passover, yes.

Brian:

Yes, and it was like this this isn't gonna work with ADHD. And they made some like pretty easy accommodations, and the family was like, Yeah, okay, we can do that.

Apryl:

This was for I mean, this wasn't even for necessarily ADHD. It was like, oh, we now have grandkids, the kids are little, we need to have like some puppets and things to tell a story of Passover, we're gonna cut the dinner to an hour and a half, and now they're like grown up and the kids are grown, and the person who was presenting was like, and my dad was like, Yeah, and we're gonna keep dinner an hour and a half because we can't stand it being three hours. So, yeah, like there's accommodations, like, don't feel like you have to, like, oh, this is tradition, this is what we do. No, you know what, it may not work for our family, and that's okay. Yeah, I think that's a really, really great point that you make. I forgot about that, but it was really good. Um, and it's okay to say no, like put that on your fridge. It's okay to say no. It is okay to say no because you're not being rude. That's number one, you're not being rude. Like you're literally doing what's best for your family, and don't feel guilty about it. It's okay. Like last year, actually, I think the last two years, we our neighborhood has like a whole Christmas tree lighting, and everyone goes out, they get around the Christmas tree and they sing Christmas carols. Every year I've had it on our calendar. And we've never gone. It's like on a Monday or Tuesday night, and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's just too much, and we just haven't made it. And and I feel guilty for about five minutes, and then I'm like, No, I'm so glad we didn't go.

Brian:

Yeah. Yeah, this is kind of everything to do with holidays. If if your house doesn't leave cookies and milk Albertana one year, he's gonna he's gonna live.

Apryl:

It's gonna be okay. Yeah.

Brian:

If there's not an elf on your shelf that year, that's gonna be okay.

Apryl:

I refuse to do elf on the shelf. And our daughter is begging for it. But I'm like, I for me, I can't do it, and I'm gonna say no, and it's okay. So also, cookies and milk, they don't have to be homemade. If you're like, guess what, I'm running to Kroger, cool, run to Kroger and get some store-bought ones, that works too. Santa likes all cookies. So, yes, it's okay to say no. It's okay to say no. Make that your mantra for holidays 2025.

Brian:

Yeah, and this is something you can plan out ahead of time of like, you know what? I can do the gift opening or I can do the whatever, but I can't do this. Let's just bring it up the family ahead of time. Be like, I'll be honest, this is this is exhausting, and I can't do it, and I just want to have the energy for everything else.

Apryl:

Yeah. You know what? This actually that just triggered a memory from last year. I have, I am like, oh, we need to do this and we need to do this and we need to do this. Like, I want to make the perfect holiday for my kids and you know, all the things, and then I'm like exhausted and feeling guilty because we didn't do everything or whatever. Last year, I like this time of year, like right now, before Thanksgiving Christmas hit, I was like, What do you guys want to do? Like, what do you want to do for Christmas? Like to make Christmas special or whatever. And our daughter was like, make gingerbread houses. Our son was like, Oh, I want to watch Christmas movies together. And then I w wanted to like have game night and that was like it. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I felt like it was so much relief. And then I didn't feel guilty either. It was like we had fun, we enjoyed all the things, and it was simple and easy. Where I would have been like, Oh, we need to be doing all these things and going to all these places and you know, so that's another thing you can do is like sit down with your family and sit and like what's one thing that you want to do this holiday season, and just ask for everyone in your family's opinion, and then just prioritize those things. Why are we prioritizing the things that society thinks is priority when our family could care less about it? Pinterest and Instagram, like no, we're not doing that this year. We're doing what our family wants to do. Because that's what they're gonna remember, and that's what they enjoy.

Brian:

Yeah, yeah, Pinterest isn't real.

Apryl:

No, neither is Instagram.

Brian:

That's a fantasy life.

Apryl:

Highlight reels. Yes.

Brian:

These are highlight reels of fantasy lives.

Apryl:

Yes, exactly. Um okay, another thing that can be very helpful this time of year is if you know you're going to be facing those tough conversations, pre-plan a few scripts. So remember Aunt Linda, when she's like, oh, he needs more discipline, you can calmly have a script prepared that says something like this. We're following our doctor's plan. Thanks for caring. Just leave it. Like that easy, yeah. Yeah, she does not need to know anything else. But if you know that there's gonna be those, you know, those Aunt Linda's prepare some scripts beforehand that you can just roll off the tongue and walk away.

Brian:

This is a good one for ChatGPT. Be like, you know what, I know my Aunt Linda's gonna do this. Give me a few good ones that'll keep the peace, but end the conversation.

Apryl:

End the conversation, yep.

Brian:

Just a few good one-liners, yeah. I like the I'm talking to my doctor, but man, there's probably some other good ones.

Apryl:

Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good idea. Throw it to ChatGPT. It can help you for sure get those one-liners.

Brian:

A few good prompts. This is not avoidance, this is self-protection. ADHD brains need predictable exits. When things get unpredictable, we've gotta have this predictable game plan.

Apryl:

Yeah, and it kind of goes back to that safety, right? That feeling of safety. And when you know that you have an exit, like you don't feel locked in. Like that's like a scary thing, like, oh my gosh, I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this situation. Like, you can walk in confidently knowing, like, no, I have an exit plan if needs be, like, we're safe. We've got this. Yep. Yeah. Okay, and a very quick teacher note here. Um, so a note for our teacher friends, you're part of this too, because we know the whole classroom at this point, let's be honest, every kid feels like they're ADHD, even if they're not, because everyone's nervous system is maxed out. All the kids are beyond excited, they're not listening to you anymore. Um, so if you can keep the classroom routine steady and predictable as long as possible, that's going to be the best way out. The best way you can do this. And I I mentioned this a little bit last week of, you know, even if you're doing holiday activities, keeping this schedule the same as in, okay, we're doing reading. Okay, well, during reading time, maybe we're doing a read aloud and a direct drawing, but it's still reading time and math. Okay, we're doing math and math time, and maybe it's a holiday-themed math. So we're still getting the fun holiday stuff in, but we can fill that predictable routine. And then, like, you know, that last half day or whatever, then if you have your class party, then it's just that one day, it's not like the whole week before, and you're exhausted, the kids are exhausted, everyone's just, you know, having a meltdown.

Brian:

And the kid who loses his pencil, because I lost my pencil. I mean, I'm talking daily, daily, daily, daily for like from first grade to a no junior year of college, probably. They're not deficient. This is just who they are. Like, it's gonna happen. And yelling and throwing a fence not into anything. It's gonna happen more.

Apryl:

You're going to you'll literally see the ADHD symptoms increase the closer it gets to the holidays. Because they're just so excited. So if they're forgetting their pencil more or they're more hyper, like, try to be as empathetic as possible these weeks building up to the holidays. I promise you'll get back beginning of the year. They're gonna be regulated again. I promise. Okay, so quick review. Remember, this is a very quick, very quick tips that you can do. Number one, rebuilding that structure. So, you know, that 10-minute rebuild of a structure, whether that's breakfast in the morning, a walk in the morning, reading to your kiddo at bedtime, whatever it is, that structure that they can look forward to and just know this is what's happening every single day during the holidays, that's going to make their brains feel safe. Number two, the sensory and emotional shielding so that before going somewhere, schedule in downtime. You know, if you know that there's gonna be even people coming to your house, scheduling in that downtime and having sensory tools close when needed, and then setting boundaries and simplifying your holiday season. If you implement those three things, I promise you that your holidays are gonna feel so much better this year. And next week, we are actually going deeper into the holidays. Like I said, we're we're doing a mini-series for the holidays. So next week, we're going deeper into this and we are busting the three biggest ADHD holiday myths that keep families stuck in guilt and overwhelm. So hit subscribe, share this episode with another parent who needs a win today, and remember, you can always reset, even on the messy days. And if you haven't already, please, we would so appreciate it. The best Christmas gift that we could receive, the more reviews a podcast has, the more that the platforms will share with other people. And our goal is to get this to as many people as possible. So leave a review. And if you have a question you would like us to answer on the podcast, feel free to DM us on Instagram. You can find us at raising ADHD underscore org. And we would love to answer your questions on the podcast or possibly bring you on a guest. We will see you next week, same time, same place, tackling the three biggest ADHD holiday myths. See you then.

Brian:

Thanks so much for joining us for today's conversation on raising ADHD. Remember, raising ADHD kids doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Small shifts can make a big difference. If you found this episode helpful, it would mean the world if you would hit subscribe, if you would leave a review, or if you shared it with another parent or teacher who needs this support. And don't forget to join us next week for more real talk, practical tips, and encouragement. Until then, you've got this and we've got your back.